Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas! I will check in with you all next week.

Upcoming Belly Shots

A few of you have requested more belly shots recently. I promise I will post many of them but the next one is not coming until after Christmas or even after my next doctor's appointment which is January 8th. I really don't think I have changed that much since the last picture.

Maybe after all the food I will eat at Christmas there will be a big change. I promise to update belly shots throughout this pregnancy even if I gain a million pounds.

Too funny

I don't normally stay up long enough to watch Saturday Night Live but this Saturday I was able to catch a few skits with Justin Timberlake as the host. The first skit with him singing about Homelessville was hilarious but this video had me laughing so hard I about fell off the couch. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. The Best Week Ever has the video so I am going to give you the link to it. If you need a good laugh here you go.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/12/18/icymi-dck-in-a-box/

So the story goes

Boy, this month is getting away from me. There has been so much to do it has become too stressful. Here are a few updates from the week.

Tuesday I had my doctor's appointment. I have gained 3 pounds since the last appointment. I got to hear the heartbeat which took longer to find then I would have liked but there it was beating great. I have been having muscle cramps in me upper abs and the doctor said the more pregnancies you have the more common this happens. I guess I should have exercised before this baby. It hurts a lot especially after holding Little Cubby for a period of time. This pregnancy has been rougher on me then the other two. Exhaustion, aches and pains everywhere, hormones through the roof so I cry at everything and get pissed off easily, and a lot of stress right now. Aren't you glad you are reading this?

I talked about in the last post about Big Cubby being invited to a birthday party that takes place while he is in his extension class. Well, Hubby and I decided to keep him in the class instead of going to the party. Several reasons why and you get the pleasure of reading them.

1. We just got a note saying one of the teachers is leaving the school due to conflict in teaching philosophies. This is Big Cubby's favorite teacher. She co-teaches the class and she teaches the extension class. She also has two children in the class. Her little girl is Big Cubby's best friend. I am devastated she is leaving. Big Cubby does not like the other teacher. She is kind of a bitch. So, this would be the last extension class the teacher would be teaching and we wanted BC to have that.

2. I am pissed at the mom's who planned this party for today. You see there are two extension classes one on Wednesday and one on Friday. There are more kids in the Wednesday class then Friday. I felt that they were only thinking about themselves and not being considerate that there was another class. Couldn't they have had this party on Thursday when there was no school and everybody could have attended or how about a weekend? They expected the kids to skip this class. I am sorry but we pay an extra $50 for this to help BC get ready for Kindergarten and we don't get pro rated if we miss it. We don't have that kind of money to throw away like most of the parents at this school.

3. This party is so close to Christmas that would have been a strain to buy two presents for these kids. I can barely buy gifts for my kids and my niece. Hubby and I don't even buy each other anything. Things right now are really tight.

4. This goes with number three, Big Cubby doesn't even like one of the boys who the party is for. This kid is a bully and has pushed BC down and has done other stuff to him. BC is adamant about not being around this kid. The other boy that the co-party is for BC does like but not when he is around this other kid. So I don't want to waste getting a gift for a kid that BC doesn't even like. This probably not the right attitude but this is a big world and I am not going to make BC be friends with some that he is afraid of.

So, you see I have bitched and moaned. The mom's have probably talked about me behind my back but I don't really care. The majority of them I don't have anything in common with. I am punk rock in a preppie world and I am ok with that. I have always read about mommy cliches but never had to experience that living in the city but now here in the burbs it is a real thing. I thought just being a mommy was all you needed to be in the club but that isn't the case. I wasn't popular in school and I am not now.

That is ok because I have all of you blog friends in my life and we may be all over the US but I feel like you are right here with me. Thank you for all of your support and love. You guys ROCK!

New firsts for the boys

Last Wednesday Big Cubby had his first playdate. A mom came up to me when I dropped BC off for school and wanted my phone number because her son was wanting BC to come over to play. Then she said well I know this is short notice but I am having another little boy over today if BC wanted to come. She said I was also invited and she would make lunch.

So I swallowed my no because I am not good in these situations and said yes. So after school we went over and went fairly well. They have a dog which scared BC because of being bit before by a dog but after the dog was blocked off he had fun. Each little boy wanted to play with BC. Little Cubby wasn't too bad either. We were only there for about an hour and 15 mins. Now though I am going to have to host one as courtesy and I could tell it is really a big deal and exhausting. Since the pregnancy is really hitting me hard this time I am not looking forward to it.


Other news.

Little Cubby has figured out how to climb out of his crib. It has been a blessing that his legs are short that he couldn't do this before so we could put off teaching him to sleep in a regular bed. I think we will put the crib matteress on the floor and start with that until after Christmas then get him a big boy bed. I remember hating the process of getting Big Cubby to stay in his bed. I have been dreading Little Cubby doing this for a long time. I guess it has to happen sometime since a new little one will need the crib.

Big Cubby got an invitation to a birthday party on Friday for two of the little boys in his class. It is at a bowling alley and it is right after school. This will be the first one he has ever gone to. I am a little nervous about it but I think he should go. One problem though, Big Cubby does not like one of the little boys who is having the party. The kid is kind of a bully and has done a couple of things to Big Cubby. Luckily the teacher say this and has dealt with it. I don't know how is this is going to go. Just remember something. Big Cubby has extension class on Fridays and doesn't get out until 1pm so I don't think he can go since the party starts at 11:30am. We pay extra for this so I don't want him to miss school. We will see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Week 11 Belly Shot

Well you asked for it so here it is. My first belly shot. I know I just look fat and bloated but there it is. I will post shots regularly as I get bigger.

Enjoy!

Wedding Bells

The other night Hubby asked Big Cubby how is day at school was. Big Cubby told him that he was getting married next week to a little girl in his class named Jennifer. He said that she thinks he is funny. Then he changed his mind and said he was going to marry another girl in his class named Kathleen. He said she was nice and cute.

Oh boy, has it started all ready?

Update Y'all

Ok the title stinks but Britney has been all over the news lately and plus I just watched a video of a skit on Saturday Night Live with Amy Poehler as Britney Spears. Very Funny.

I really don't have much of an update on the pregnancy. I don't have my doctor's appointment until December 12th. I can tell you that I am not as nauseous as I was. That seems to be subsiding though I am sensitive to smells so if something disgusts me I will feel sick.

I am starting to get a belly. It happened overnight. I am still really tired. By the end of the day I am exhausted. It doesn't help with a screaming two-year-old to deal with all day. That kid better get over this phase quickly. I am going insane.

I am very emotional right now. I pretty much cry at the drop of a hat. Sunday I took Big Cubby to a Christmas parade in our town and I almost started crying hearing the parade start. I am a freak.

We are dealing with the wants right now. Big Cubby has been going over and over the Toys R Us Big Book catalog and telling me everything he wants. I keep telling him he will get some things but not everything. We bought the boys a train table with all the accessories and now he tells me he wants a play kitchen. It is too late. I hope he is not disappointed. I don't think so when he see the train table.

I am all ready feeling the Christmas stress. I have a budget and I am trying not to let the pressure get to me. I hate the holiday season for this. I just want to appreciate the reason for the season.

Well, that is about it here. Will let you guys know about the doc's appointment later.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and totally stuffed yourself to the point you had to roll off the couch. I did!

We stayed home this year and Hubby and I made dinner for the four of us. I discovered our smoke detector works. Nothing got burned just spilled in the oven and that burned.

The meal turned out ok. Next year I would rather go to my in-laws instead.

We didn't this year because we are going down Christmas. I hate traveling on Christmas. This might be the last time.

Have a great weekend and don't spend too much money!

Need Advice

Ok everybody, I need your advice. Do I need to buy Big Cubby's preschool teachers a gift for Christmas? I am thinking yes. So what would be an appropriate gift? An ornament? gift card? I really can't spend a whole lot because we have to buy for Hubby's writers something as well.

I don't have a clue what to do here. HELP!

It's Official

The doctor's appointment finally got here and I was a little nervous. Did the routine stuff and then the doctor came in. He did an internal ultrasound and there on the screen was baby number 3. The little heart was beating so fast. It was really real. My first reaction was relieved and then the second was this is really happening. Good news looks like only one in there.

My due date is June 21st, but I think it is June 18th. We shall see. So I think that makes me 3 months pregnant. The next appointment will be actually hearing the hearbeat.

A lot of emotions, fears and stress hit Hubby and I all at once last night and it exhausted us. I have to keep making myself believe that everything is going to turn out ok.

Count Down

Monday afternoon is my doctor's appointment and I can't wait. I can finally know what is going on with me and confirm this pregnancy. I really hope that I will be able to hear the heartbeat because I won't feel comfortable until I do. If I have to wait another month I will scream. I need that reassurance that everything is all right.

I am still getting nauseous and really tired. I now at night kicking around in bed. It is driving my husband nuts. I guess I flip and flip and kick around the covers. I never do this. I am having weird dreams that don't make sense.

I have been really freaking out about a third child. I can barely handle the two I have. Since becoming a Mom I yell more, have no patience, get frustrated easy, get angry more often and finding myself wanting to throw in the towel. I don't know how I am going to handle a third.

I am counting down the days until the doc's appointment. I really need to know everything is going to be all right.

Finally Haloween Pics

Buzz Lightyear

Buzz and the "Alien"

Halloween in the Burbs

Halloween in the burbs is crazy busy. In the city, nobody really trick or treated in our neighborhood. Everybody would go to the zoo the Saturday before to trick or treat.

So are first experience was really busy.

Friday night we took the boys to trick or treat downtown to the local business. It was pretty crowded despite the cold weather. The boys had a lot of fun doing that.

Saturday morning I took Big Cubby to the theater around the corner for the Halloween Happenings. This was a costume contest and then a free movie which was Over the Hedge and free popcorn. Big Cubby was so great he walked on stage and did his Buzzlightyear stance and look. He did not win anything but he had fun. I won a raffle prize which shocked me because I don't win a lot. It was a doggie purse for a little girl. A great gift for my niece. After the movie, there was window painting downtown but it was too cold for that and we headed home.

Sunday was the Halloween parade but Hubby was sick and I was feeling exhausted so we didn't do that.

Monday was Big Cubby's Halloween party at school. Hubby stayed home with Little Cubby while I went to help out at the party. It was fun. I helped out with arts and crafts. Boy those kids say anything. They were pretty cute. They got lots of goodies. Before school got out they had a little program for the parents where they had a little parade around the gym and then they sang three songs. Big Cubby did so good. I was proud of him. Earlier in the week, he said he did not want to sing but he did it.

Tuesday night was trick or treating in the neighborhood. We decided not to go out. I was not feeling good at all. It was really cold. We live behind a business so nobody knew we lived there so we got no trick or treaters which is what I thought.

I don't have much energy these days. I usually end up taking a nap in the afternoon when LC is napping and BC is watching a movie. I have been pretty miserable.

So that is what has been happening lately. I will try to get picture of the boys in their costumes tonight. Big Cubby was Buzzlightyear and Little Cubby was an alien(it really was a frog costume but Big Cubby kept calling him an alien.)

I hope everybody had a safe and happy Halloween!

Adapting

For some reason I have been busy since Thursday and I haven't had time to update my blog until now.

Friday I bought a digital pregnancy test that had two for the price of one in the box. This pregnancy test literally spells out pregnant or not pregnant on the stick. So after I got home I took one of the tests. It came out pregnant. The next morning right after I got up I took the second test. It came out pregnant. Well, I guess that is official. I am still waiting until my November 13th appointment to be ready to accept the pregnancy. We did go ahead and tell our families. I just wanted them to know for their support. My family was really surprised and then kind of acted like we were crazy.

I have started getting some pregnancy symptoms. My sense so smell is strong and a lot of smells make me nauseous. I haven't thrown up yet though. Never go to Sam's Club if smells bother you. All the sample foods they had made me sick. The smell of all of them was gross.

I get nauseous if I start to get hungry. I have to eat something to keep it at bay.

I have been exhausted lately. I have been trying to doze will Little Cubby is napping and Big Cubby is watching a movie.

Overall I feel like crap. I don't feel normal and just feel ill. I am trying to cope because the boys don't know anything yet and I don't want them to worry especially Big Cubby.

Both boys have been really trying to fight for my attention lately. Pushing each other out of the way to sit on my lap. I am trying to balance attention for both but it is hard. What am I going to do with a third. I feel spread thin as it is. I guess I will manage.

I have one big worry and that is twins. My grandmother on my Dad's side is a fraternal twin. It is her and her brother. I think I would totally freak out if I found out I was carry twins. Pray that I am not.

Denial Denial

I have been in denial since taking the pregnancy test. So much in fact I am taking a different pregnancy test this weekend to double check. It sucks that my doctor's appointment isn't until November 13th.

Don't worry I have stopped drinking alcohol, only drinking one cup of coffee in the morning, drinking more water and taking a multivitamin.

The problem is I don't feel pregnant. With my first son, before I knew I was pregnant I would pass out and sleep at all hours. I was sooo tired. Then came morning sickness where most smells made me nauseous. My boobs were super sore. With son number two, I was tired, nauseous and boobs sore right away.

This time around nothing. I have no symptoms. My boobs are not sore or big. No morning sickness. Not any tired than normal. Nothing. It is really weird. I know that every pregnancy is different but this is really weird.

So you see why I am in denial about it because I don't feel it.

I have been worried about what this pregnancy was going to do to my relationship with my husband. Since kids, we sort of grown apart. Not bad just how things happen after kids. The past few months we have been working on our intimacy issues and were coming along nicely. Now this happens and I am afraid it will drive us apart. I have been trying really hard not to let that happen.

With everything else I am worrying about: money, the boys reaction when we tell them, where we are going to live next year(lease up in May and was only temp guy trying to sell), estimated due month in June, where Big Cubby will go to Kindergarten, money, going back to no sleep, whether to breastfeed or use formula(breastfed both boys but really hated it did it for their well being), whether the baby will be a boy or girl( have plenty of boy clothes), threw out a lot of baby stuff, and whether North Korea is going to have a nuclear bomb. Ok, maybe that is too much.

So that is what I have been going through the last couple of days.

Hubby and I talked last night about everything and he has been really supportive and understanding. I don't know what I would do without him. He has been great.

So not too much going on right?

Snowfall in Fall

Here are a couple of photos of the snow we got on Thursday Oct. 12th in Chicagoland. It was a new record for early measurable snow. Crazy.

Out our dining room window

Our neighbor's car. Snow falling

Dazed and Confused

Thank you everybody for the warm congrats. I have been in shock and a daze for the past couple of days. I am just trying to wrap my head around it. I have set up a doctor's appointment and it is on November 13th.

I know this is really early in the pregnancy and I haven't even confirmed this with a doctor but I wanted to share this in the beginning if God forbid something happens. I want to share all my feelings here since I can't with family.

I don't want to come off ungrateful or selfish here. I don't want to offend anybody who is having fertility problems. I know I am blessed and very lucky. I am just trying to work out these feelings.

This was not planned. When we were trying for both boys it took 6 months to conceive both of them. Two times for this one was all it took. Two times!

I feel guilty because my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have been trying for over ten years to get pregnant and can't. They can't afford IVF and have looked into adoption but it is also expensive. Here I am pregnant again and they have none. I know they love our kids a whole lot. I know they will be excited about the news but I feel deep down they might be resentful.

This is why my feelings are screwed up right now. I know that after the doctor's appointment when everything is confirmed and I have a due date that I might be able to relax.

By the way R. Martini, I am not keeping the test. I just wanted a picture of it instead.

Be warned everybody I am not a happy person pregnant. Both times I complained a lot. I am just warning you.

Guess what?

This is a big surprise. Not planned.

Long weekend and an ER trip

On Friday after Big Cubby got out of school, we headed to southern Illinois to visit my in-laws and to go to SIU homecoming. The trip started out bad we were stuck on 294 for two hours crawling along. We didn't get to SI until 8pm. Earlier that day we bought a portable DVD player with two screens for the boys and that was a lifesaver.

Saturday Hubby and I left the boys with my in-laws and headed to SIU to catch the parade and hangout at the tailgate party before the game. We couldn't get tickets to the game so we walked around campus and headed out for lunch at a local bar. It was really fun. We stocked up on SIU gear.

Saturday night my brother-in-law and sister-in-law came over for dinner at my in-laws. We were in the living room and Hubby and Big Cubby were down the hall. Hubby was checking email because he had to reply to something for work. Well, Big Cubby scared my in-laws dog while he was sleeping and he turned around and bit Big Cubby on the head. We heard this horrifying scream and ran down to see Hubby holding a scared Big Cubby and his forehead with a tooth mark on it. This dog is the most laid back and loving dog. The two things he doesn't like is being snuck up on and bothered while eating. Two things we have been telling Big Cubby all the time. We head outside to get some air because Little Cubby was concerned and Big Cubby wanted away from the dog. We walk up to this park and Hubby yells to me to come over to him and hurry. He says put on a brave face.

I get over to where he is and he shows me a small gash on Big Cubby's head. The dog grabbed a hold of his head and Big Cubby hit and kicked him off. So there was more to his wounds. I almost lost it. I told him I think we should go to the ER. Hubby didn't think so but agreed to ask his Dad about hit. They take off to the house while I tell my BIL and SIL what is going on and could they watch Little Cubby. I was crying by then because I knew my MIL would be really upset and think it was her fault which it totally wasn't. I get myself together and head to the house. By then my FIL says we should take BC to the ER. My MIL comes out and sees and almost falls over and starts crying. I run to grab BIL and SIL because FIL wanted to go with us but did not want to leave her alone.

We head to the ER and there is only one other person in waiting. We sign in and wait and wait. Finally he gets called and after 4 hours in the ER good news was he did not need stitches and they cleaned out the would, gave us a prescrib of pencillin and orders to clean it three times a day for 5 days. Well, the wound was all ready healing by the time we left on Monday. He is fine and still likes the dog though he knows to bother him.

Scary moment for all of us. My MIL felt horrible but BC told her that he loved her and that made her feel better. He knew it was his fault and he should not have done that to the dog. He felt bad.

So there is our adventure of the weekend.

I hate censorship and misinformed people

This story ran in the AP yesterday and it really made me mad.

Ga. mother seeks Harry Potter ban

Wed Oct 4, 3:00 PM ET
ATLANTA - A suburban county that sparked a public outcry when its libraries temporarily eliminated funding for Spanish-language fiction is now being asked to ban Harry Potter from its schools.

Laura Mallory, a mother of four, told a hearing officer for the Gwinnett County Board of Education on Tuesday that the popular fiction books are an "evil" attempt to indoctrinate children in the Wicca religion.

Board of Education attorney Victoria Sweeny said that if schools were to remove all books containing reference to witches, they would have to ban "Macbeth" and "Cinderella."

"There's a mountain of evidence for keeping Harry Potter," she said, adding that the books don't support any particular religion but present instead universal themes of friendship and overcoming adversity.
In June, the county's library board eliminated the $3,000 that had been set aside to buy Spanish-language fiction in the coming fiscal year. One board member said the move came after some residents objected to using taxpayer dollars to entertain readers who might be illegal immigrants.

Days later, the board reversed its decision amid accusations that the move was anti-Hispanic.

First, the woman doesn't have the right to tell anybody what to read. If she doesn't want her children to read it fine. Second, she has no idea what she is talking about. Wicca is not magic it is worshipping the earth. It is not the witches we think of for Halloween. Harry Potter is a fiction book which means it is not real. It is a fantasy story. If we teach our children then they can make their own decisions on things. Isn't that what are job is as parents raise informed children so when they are adults they can make their own decisions.

I know this own is probably Christian. I am a Christian. If she starts wanting books banned then what is to stop the banning of the Bible. Not everybody believes that is real. People need to think about what censorship does. If censorship happens what's to stop them from censoring something you love.

Sidenote: I don't agree with porn. That is why I don't look at it. I prevent my children from seeing. Adults have to make their own choices. By the way some porn is against the law and you know what I mean. So this isn't about that.

Darkness

Some of you might wonder why I haven’t blogged and some of you probably could care less. Well, there are a lot of reasons why.

I have been sad and depressed. I don’t sleep well, don’t have much of an appetite, and I can’t make a decisions at all. I put on a brave face in front of the kids. I have been dealing with this through my faith and starting to feel better.

I have fallen into a trap called obsessive comment watching. I started this blog has a journal of my thoughts and feelings but know it has turned into trying to get more comments. I have felt like I have to comment on other peoples blogs in hope that they will comment on my. I have started to feel like blogging is like high school and I am trying to be popular but failing miserably. I am not one of the cool kids. I don’t have anything really poignant to say. I talk about my kids, big deal. Most people get sick of hearing about that.

I am not a good writer. I have trouble trying to describe how I feel. A lot of crap has happened the past few weeks. I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. Our van had to go into the shop to be fixed so Big Cubby missed a day of school because the van is our only vehicle. Hubby was gone three days last week for work and he is gone three days this week for work travel. The garbage disposal broke and I really don’t want to call the landlord about it because he doesn’t want to put any money into this place because he hopes to sell it soon. We are only on a year lease.

I haven’t been good at initiating friendships and keeping them. I have been alone for the most of my adult life with my Hubby really the only friend I have. I feel like I don’t fit in the town I live in. We are not rich. We don’t own our home. We live paycheck to paycheck. Some weeks all we have left in the bank is $30. I am not close to my mom. We have had a falling out so when we see each other it is uncomfortable and forced. I don’t have her to talk to about my feelings. I feel like I don’t have anything in common with the moms from Big Cubby’s preschool. I mean come on a couple of them have freaking nannies.

Life has been pretty hard for me lately. I have been getting back to my faith. I have been praying for God’s help and I have been reading the Bible to help me understand what is going on inside me. I trust that everything is going to work out it is just hard waiting for that to happen. I know with God all things are possible.

Going back over this, it sounds like crazy talk. I just needed to get these feelings out. I need to get my life in order.

That's what she said

Sorry for the no posting lately. I have been dealing with sinus problems due to the sudden temp change here. I have had sinus headaches behind my eyes. Sucks.

I chose the title above because I love The Office and it starts the new season tonight.

Here are a couple of tidbits for you.

Meeting up with Manic Mom and Swishy was really fun. I actually got to talk to adults and have adult beverages. I had all ready met Manic Mom and knew she was really cool. I met Swishy for the first time and she is very pretty and really cool. They pretty much tell all that happen when we met up here and here except for one thing I made a fool out of myself when it was time to say goodbye. Check out the photos. I look like crap.

We ended up parking in the same parking garage. We also parked on the same floor. We get up there and I start to look for my van and I am not seeing it. I see the wall with the signs and realize that there is a permit parking sign. Now I start to panic thinking that my van has been towed. Manic Mom says it shouldn’t have been towed I parked right here with the same sign. I am starting to freak a little. Manic Mom asks me if I have the right garage. I tell her I am positive it is the right one.

I hit my find your car button on my key chain my van starts going off behind me parked by the same looking wall with the same signs on the wall. I just about died from embarrassment. I said my goodbyes, got into the van and called myself an idiot. I waved goodbye and drove home. They also found out I can’t tell a joke at all. I screw them up all the time.

Other news I went to the ice cream social at my son’s preschool last night. I lucked out and Hubby’s trip was cancelled so he got to go with us to it. Sorry, Hotwire. I was so relieved he went with us. Good thing to because we were pretty much by ourselves. The other parents knew each other and were cuddled up in a corner talking. We talked to the teacher and found out Big Cubby is doing well in school. He gets his named called a couple of times to sit down or whatever but he listens to the teacher and does what he is told. She said he was also very sweet. We told her that this is his first school and being around other kids experience and she was surprised and said in that case he is doing great. That was great news because we were worried about him. We left and were home by 6:55pm. I am glad we went because Big Cubby was so happy to show his Daddy around the room and all the stuff he does. He also like introducing his Daddy to the teacher. It was a great moment for them.

Big Cubby got his first invitation to a party ever. I think it is a birthday party but the invite doesn’t say. I don’t know if I am supposed to go with him or drop him off. It is at a Chuck E. Cheeses. They don’t want RSVP only regrets. I am so confused.

So that is the scoop for the week.

Baby no more

Today we took Little Cubby to get his first haircut. We did really great and was very patient. We are lucky that boy boths don't mind their hair cut. Hubby took him in while Big Cubby and I waited in the van. Big Cubby likes to "drive" the van.

When Hubby brought out Little Cubby I almost started crying. He went in a baby and came out a little boy. All of his curls in back gone. He has moved into a new stage in life.

Below both pictures are the after shot of the haircut.

PS. I got to hang out with Manic Mom and Swishy this weekend! It was really fun! More later.

Bad Mommy

Today was Big Cubby first extended preschool class. Friday's he goes from 8:30am to 1pm. 11am to 1pm is a pre-k class preparing him for kindergarten.

I was unaware that I was supposed to pack a lunch for him on Fridays. I was informed when I picked him up that he had no lunch and the teacher give Bugles, an apple and juice. I said I am so sorry and we left. I said sorry to Big Cubby and he said that was ok.

I had no idea I was supposed to pack a lunch. I went through all my paperwork agains and it said nothing about lunch. I called Hubby and said why didn't you say anything about there was nothing in the paperwork about it. I really don't like conflict and I was embarrassed because I felt I should have known.

Well, now I do know and he will have a lunch packed every Friday.

Sidenote: Next Wednesday the school is having a ice cream social from 6-7 and Hubby will not be able to attended it with me. I have to go alone with the boys. I am a little nervous about it. We will won't stay long because of Little Cubby will probably be cranky then. Wish me luck on that. Not good with meeting people. Hubby is more out going.

Happy 2nd Birthday

Little Cubby you are two years old today.

You have grown so much this past year. You are officially a toddler.

You still like to sit on my lap in the morning after you get up and after you get up from your nap. You like to cuddle.

You like to give kisses and head butts.

You like to say “what’s that mama?” to everything.

You are saying more words and sentences then I can write down.

You like to wrestle with your brother.

You love to sleep with your blankie at night.

You still like your paci at night even though I have cut off most of it and it is just a nub.

You like to play at the park and run everywhere.

You like anything with music whether it be a commercial or one of your shows.

You like Jack’s Big Music Show, Blues Clues, Sesame Street, Backyardigan’s.

You ask me all the time “where (big cubby) at?”

You have become a little picky when it comes to food.

You like to play with trains and the magna doodle.

You are pretty laid back though you have entered the whining stage.

You like to wave and say bye to everybody when we leave some where like the grocery store.

You still sleep in your crib even though you like to jump up and down in it. You haven’t figured out how to get out. I think you just don’t want to leave the crib which is fine by me.

You get excited every evening when Daddy comes home from work.

You like to climb up on what your brother calls the treasure chest and look out at the trains when they go by.

You are so full of life and love. Mommy and Daddy are so blessed to have you in our life. You fill our lives with happiness and joy. We love you very much.

Happy 2nd Birthday little guy!

If it has a beat we will dance to it

Big Cubby is doing much better at preschool. He looks forward to going.

Here is a quick preschool story.

This past Monday they started a music time which will happen every Monday. Well, a music teacher came in and played and sang for the kids. Later that evening, Hubby asked Big Cubby about his day at school and he tells him that they had music and when it started it made him want to dance so he got up and started dancing. Hubby asked him did the other kids dance also and Big Cubby said no and the teacher told him to sit down.

Big Cubby did not tell me this story when I asked him earlier in the day. Hubby told him that it was all right to dance at home but at school if you are told to sit and listen then he needs to do that.

I felt sad that he was told to sit down because both my boys love music and love to dance, bang around on makeshift instruments and sing. That is what kids at this age do before the age when it will be not cool to do that. I know there is a time and place for it but this is preschool and aren't they suppose to let the kids get creative.

I know I can't sit still when I hear music even in the grocery store I will sing softely and do a little wiggle down the aisles when I hear it playing. They got that from me.

Silence

Take a moment to say a prayer to all that were affected by 9/11.

Thank you to all the men and women in our armed forces.

Not much hair left

Do you ever feel like running out of your house screaming at the top of your lungs while waving your arms above your head never looking back or is it just me?

Tough day.

Big Cubby's first day of preschool

Big Cubby had his first day of preschool yesterday. I will have photos that we took of him acting like he was leaving for school later.

Hubby worked from home yesterday so I wouldn't have to take Little Cubby with us for the first day.

The night before Big Cubby was so excited about going to school. We laid out his clothes, shoes, jacket, and backpack which were all new. In the morning, I went to wake him up and tell him it was time to get ready for school. He was excited.

We loaded up the van and off we went. We pull up and there are other kids with their parents walking up. We head to the steps leading up to the door and Big Cubby tells me that he has got it and doesn't need to hold my hand. I was composed and I said ok. A mom next to me goes I am too trying to give my little guy space but it is hard.

We go to the classroom and he hangs up his stuff and off he goes to play. I chat with a few moms and check his mailbox then it was time for me to leave. I go up to Big Cubby and tell him I am leaving and he says ok bye. I ask for a kiss which he gives and then I leave.

I did not cry in the van on the way back to the house. Hubby askes me if I am all right and I said yes just nervous about how he is going to act there. So we have nervous energy and just wait until 11 to get him.

I go and pick him up and they bring him to the van. I ask him did he have fun and he tells me no and he is sad and does not want to go back. I ask why and he tells me the teachers said it was time to pick up the toys but he wants to keep playing with the blocks then a boy takes the blocks away from him and puts them away. He then starts crying.

I tell him that when the teacher tells you to pick up then you do it. I had to ask him 20 questions just to get out of him what he did at school. Overall I think he had a fun time.

We get home and he tells his daddy about his day then he pulls out of his pocket a yellow plastic bear and says this is for you mommy. Hubby and I look at each other and ask was he supposed to take this out of the classroom. He says no. Hubby sits him down and explains about stealing while I go into another room and just start crying.

I think everything caught up with me. I was upset because I had talked to him about the toys staying at school. I felt like a failure right at that moment.

Friday when he goes back to school I have to make sure he goes to the teacher and say he took the bear without asking and he was sorry.

When he gets embarrassed he totally shuts down. So with that and having Little Cubby with me who will want to get down and play and be crying when we have to leave Friday is going to be a stressful day.

Good news is he ask about school today and says he wants to go tomorrow.

I'll never ride my bike again

We took the boys to the park so Big Cubby could practice riding his bike before it got too cold. This is this the picture before when everything was wonderful. Little Cubby loved running after his brother. Big Cubby started going down a hill and instead of hitting the brakes.

He ran straight between two small trees and hit the branches and fell over. The bottom picture is before we bandaged him all up. He stated that we was never riding his bike again. If you look closely you can see a big tear coming down his cheek.
Good news is the next day we got him on his bike and he was fine. He fell once put was better prepared on what to do. A lessoned learned.

Mourning

Hubby and I have been discussing about having a third baby. I have gone back and forth on this. Hubby has decided that two is enough and made the comment he wanted to get rid of the baby clothes and other baby items. I started crying at this. I told him I needed a little more time before we get rid of the baby stuff.

I tried to explain that it was kind of like a mourning process. That I will won't have any more babies. He really did not understand what I am going through.

Have any of you gone through this? I am getting choked up just writing this. I don't know if this is part of being a female or do men go through it also. Even though I am 34, I don't want to close the door on a third baby.
I have pros and cons and I wasn't the happiest pregnant person but I still not ready to move on.

It could be that women go through menopause which ends their fertility and men can reproduce until they die that women mourn this.

Tell me what you think. I want to know that this is normal and to prove to Hubby I am not crazy.

Preschool Preview

Today the preschool Big Cubby will be attending had a "Get to know your preschool before it starts" day. We got to see where to hang up is bag and coat. Where he will be playing. We got to meet his teachers.

We get there and I get some paperwork, he is shown around then he is able to play with toys. Little Cubby got to play as well. The whole time there we would not let go of a Dirt Devil toy vacuum. When it was time to leave I had to pry it from his hands which made him cry.

I met some of the other moms which I am not good at. Luckily a woman came up to me and introduced herself and some of the other moms around. It seemed to me that they all knew each from last year preschool. I felt weird and awkward. I was staring to sweat. I even had boob sweat. I always do this when I get around other adults.

Good news is that Big Cubby loved it and was well behaved while there. When we got home he thanked me for taking him to see is school. I don't think I will have a problem with him not liking it. The problem will be in the mornings I take him to is class room Little Cubby will want to stay and will be very upset that he won't and Big Cubby will.

The countdown begins. 7 days.

Happy 5th Birthday Big Cubby!

Today you turn 5 years old. It seems like yesterday you were a baby cuddled in my arms. You are now a big boy.

You will be starting preschool soon.

You are learning to ride a bike (with training wheels).

Age 4

You love trains of all kinds. You like to go to your room and play with your trains all day if I let you.

You like to wrestle with your brother.
You love saying things like bootyhind and the line from the movie Nacho Libre “Hey let go of my blouse”.

You are a very picky eater only eating chicken nuggets and French fries along with some kind of fruit. No veggies.

Age 3

You like to look at books and for me to read to you when you go to bed at night.

You love Toy Story and playing with Buzz Lightyear and Woody. You still sleep with Bear.

Age 2

You like to take pictures just like your Daddy.

You like to be able to do things on your own like getting your breakfast stuff out or buckling yourself in your booster seat.

Age 1

You like to give hugs and kisses and tell us you love us all the time.

You are my beautiful first born son. The day you were born was the happiest day besides marring your Daddy. I looked at you and love that filled my heart so much I thought it would burst. I wanted to love you and protect you. I never wanted to put you down. I just wanted to hold you forever. You have turned into a funny, loving, stubborn and smart boy. I hope we are not messing you up to much just remember we love you.

Few days old

Leaving the hospital to go home

You are no longer my baby but a big boy.

I love you.

Happy Birthday.

I am no Rachael Ray

I want to thank everyone for their recipe ideas. I will be giving them a try in the next few weeks.

I did make a few meals this week I found in a Betty Crocker Casseroles and slow cooker meals magazine.

The first meal I made was Sloppy Joe Casserole. This is basically sloppy joes with a cornbread topping. First I did not have the right dish size so I had to use a bigger dish. I then forgot to add cheese before putting the cornbread mix on top.

Both boys did not like it. I made Big Cubby take one bite of it and he gagged. Little Cubby would not open is mouth and shoved the plate away. It really wasn’t that bad tasting. I thought it was ok. Hubby liked it and thought it was pretty good. He got it to work for lunch.

The second meal I made was a Chicken and Noodles Skillet. It had chicken, baby carrots, broccoli, egg noodles, chicken broth and cream of chicken soup. It was easy and quick. Once again both boys acted like I was serving them dog doo. I really like the taste of this. I was good. Hubby liked it. I still made Big Cubby take a bite.

The third meal I had made before. It was Lasagna Rollups. Basically you put on one noodle ricotta cheese, tomato sauce and whatever type of meat or just mozz cheese then you roll them up. Top with tomato sauce and cheese then bake. I just did cheese. Both boys would not eat it. Hubby and I did for a few meals.

Tonight I made Cheesy Tater-Topped Chicken Casserole. It has chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots in cheese sauce topped with tater tots. It was good and easy. Big Cubby started crying because he ordered chicken nuggets and fries. Little Cubby shoved the plate away.

I am telling you these boys are way too picky. I am a picky eater and I make things that are not like what my family made when I was little. Cabbage Rolls. I get sick thinking about them now. I just don’t know what to do.

I will be trying everybody’s suggestions very soon. I am trying not to be a short order cook because it really makes me tired.

So there are my cooking adventures. Still don’t like it but am I really trying.

Count your blessings

For the past two nights, Hubby and I have watched the documentary When the Levee Broke by Spike Lee on HBO. I don’t know if I can express the feelings I had watching this.

I was sad, angry, pissed, heartbroken, in disbelief, and so on. Our government failed this people. Our President failed this people. It scares me to think for those of us who work paycheck to paycheck or barely make enough to support our families can be written off so easily and forgotten. It was been a year since Hurricane Katrina hit and very little progress has been made to get the people back home to New Orleans, Mississippi. This country can help other countries but when it comes time to help our own people they drop the ball. Why is that?

They are still finding bodies in homes there. The levees are still being worked on. Houses and debris are still in the state the hurricane left them. People want to go home but can’t.

I almost cried a couple of times and then last night I lost it. They interviewed a woman whose daughter drowned during the hurricane. She was only 5 years old. The little girl was staying with her father and his girlfriend and children and they did not evacuate. They found the body of the little girl 6 months later. They showed the funeral for the little girl and the mother just breaking down during it sobbing. I just lost it. I have a soon to be 5 year old. I can’t imagine losing him like that. The mother said she had a dream before she found out her daughter was missing. She dreamed her daughter was calling her and saying Mama, I am falling and there was water. She woke up in cold sweat and later found out her daughter drowned. The sadness, the guilt this mother must have felt even though it wasn’t her fault. This story hit close to home for me.

Everyday we should count our blessings. We should hug our children. We should be thankful for what we have because you never know when you might run into a situation like this.

I strongly recommend watching this documentary. It will be showing again a couple more times on HBO. Here is the link to the dates and times. If you don’t have HBO, I am sure it will be on DVD very soon. The first anniversary for this disaster is on Tuesday, August 29th.

Before anyone goes off on some of the bad seeds out there taking advantage of the system let say this point for every one bad seed out there, there are 10 good ones.

I am afraid for our country because I don’t think our government really gives a shit about us until election time. I am not a real political person. I am not really liberal and I am not really conservative. So don’t think I am on a high horse or anything I am just a concerned citizen.

Lance Armstrong types

Today we walked up from our house to watch this race. It was actually pretty cool to watch. Hubby took some pictures and when he has gone through all 600 of them he will post some of the best. I am not sure who won because he had to leave with 10 laps to go because Big Cubby was tired and was getting in trouble for not listening.

I love to people watch and let me tell you there was a lot to see today. Oh boy some of the clothes or lack there of that was abundant. We are talking about people who should not be showing that much skin if you know what I mean.

Overall, it was pretty exciting to watch. I have never seen a race like this in person before. I think it is pretty boring on tv. Live is cool.

I need your help

Ok, everybody I am asking for your help. You see I am not a good cook. Heck I really don't like to cook but I need to start making meals and I don't have any ideas. I am going to the grocery store tomorrow and so I need your help.

Please give me some ideas and recipes that I can use. I would like for them to be easy to make and remember I have to little ones and one of them can be picky.

I am begging for help!

Guilty Pleasures

OK, it is time to confess. I have to get this off my chest. I can’t stand the burden no more. Are you ready?

I have guilty pleasures. There I said it. I am now clean. That is right I have things I like that I would not admit in public.

You are asking yourself “why bring it up now?” Well, I need to say it out loud or in writing in this case. I want you to know the real me. I have been keeping things from you afraid of what you would think of me.

No more I am free and this is me.

Here are my guilty pleasures:

I like the new song from Justin Timberlake “Sexy Back”. I like to dance to it.

I like Kelly Clarkson

I watch So You Think You Can Dance. It was my dream to dance professionally.

I love the gossip blogs. Dlisted, Hot Momma Drama, Gabsmash just to name a few. Hollywood is so high school and I love looking in whether the gossip is true or not. These people are so sad. I feel better about my life when I read some of this stuff.

I love powdered donuts. I hide them from the boys and sneak around eating them.

I love driving by myself with the radio blaring singing and dancing.

I am in a mood to admit some things about myself so here it goes.

I wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer.

I dance in front of the mirror.

I have lived in a trailer. We were so white trash. It was college.

I have been hit on by another girl.

I had bad acne in my middle 20’s and now I have scars and pockmarks that I am embarrassed by. Hubby says they are not noticeable but he is being sweet.

I suffer from low self esteem.

I was a janitor at a college while attending the college.

I have quit three jobs the next day after I was hired.

The first time I got drunk was when I was 19.

First time I had sex was when I was 19. And no it was not the same time I got drunk. Hubby is the one and only.

I have only had two serious boyfriends.

I was the girl that was friends with the boys never a girlfriend. Went to dances with “friends”.

I love sports. I wish I had more talent in the athletics department. I played summer softball league from 2nd grade to 8th grade.

I miscarried in 1994 which put in a depression for months. I did not get out of bed.

I was in love with Rick Springfield. Have you seen him now? Gross.

I had a jean jacket with tons of buttons on it. You know what I mean by buttons like I had on that said I want my MTV. Those buttons or flair. Guess the movie where the word flair comes from.

I almost always never wear make-up. The reason being I have never been sure on how to wear it.

Ok, I have to stop now because I don’t want to scare all of you. I can’t believe I have admitting the above so far.

So I am a freak. Please don’t be afraid and come back and read me!

23 months

Little Cubby turned 23 months old on Sunday. I am saving my update post for next month since he turns the big 2. Also, notice his wispy hair. This weekend we are going to try to get him in to get a haircut. It will be his first. All of his baby curls will be gone. I am sad just thinking about it. But it is time.

New word of the day

Bootyhind.

This is Big Cubby's new word. Used in a sentence:"My pants are falling down and you can see my bootyhind".

He thinks this is very funny.

Something always happens when Hubby goes out of town

Hubby left yesterday to go on an overnight business trip so that means something usually happens.

The boys and I walked to the dry cleaners and dropped off some shirts. We then started walking towards the post office. We started crossing the train tracks when Big Cubby was not paying attention because he was looking down the tracks for a train when he started drifting off into the road and the light had just turned green. I reached out and grabbed his arm and yanked him back. He came close to getting hit. I was so pissed. I made him keep his hand on the stroller the rest of the way.

We moved our couch/futon because we thought our new couch was going to be delivered. Sidenote: They cancelled delivery again now two more weeks until it will be in. So the old couch/futon was in new place and there was a big gap between the wall and it. The boys were playing and chasing each and in a second Little Cubby raced up the couch trying to get away from his brother and fell backwards hitting his head on the wall. I raced to grab him and he had a huge bump on his head. I started to freak out. I tried calling Hubby and his phone went straight to voicemail. I left a message then kept calling it about 20 times. I knew which brand of hotel Hubby was staying at but not the specific one so I called one of six and he was not at that one. I did not want to call all of the making me sound like a stalkcr. Hubby hadn't had a chance to tell me which one and room number yet. I did not know what to do so I called my mother-in-law. She calmed me down and asked a few questions. By then Little Cubby was running back and forth in the living room and was dancing to the commercials. All normal things for him. He seemed ok.

I watched over him for an hour and he seemed fine then it was time for bed. Hubby called after I laid down the boys. It seems his phone died on him and he forgot his charger. He had to go buy one. Of all the times for that to happen.

This morning he is ok. The bump has gone down a lot. Hubby comes home tonight. Thank goodness.

Something always happens when Hubby goes out of town

Hubby left yesterday to go on an overnight business trip so that means something usually happens.

The boys and I walked to the dry cleaners and dropped off some shirts. We then started walking towards the post office. We started crossing the train tracks when Big Cubby was not paying attention because he was looking down the tracks for a train when he started drifting off into the road and the light had just turned green. I reached out and grabbed his arm and yanked him back. He came close to getting hit. I was so pissed. I made him keep his hand on the stroller the rest of the way.

We moved our couch/futon because we thought our new couch was going to be delivered. Sidenote: They cancelled delivery again now two more weeks until it will be in. So the old couch/futon was in new place and there was a big gap between the wall and it. The boys were playing and chasing each and in a second Little Cubby raced up the couch trying to get away from his brother and fell backwards hitting his head on the wall. I raced to grab him and he had a huge bump on his head. I started to freak out. I tried calling Hubby and his phone went straight to voicemail. I left a message then kept calling it about 20 times. I knew which brand of hotel Hubby was staying at but not the specific one so I called one of six and he was not at that one. I did not want to call all of the making me sound like a stalkcr. Hubby hadn't had a chance to tell me which one and room number yet. I did not know what to do so I called my mother-in-law. She calmed me down and asked a few questions. By then Little Cubby was running back and forth in the living room and was dancing to the commercials. All normal things for him. He seemed ok.

I watched over him for an hour and he seemed fine then it was time for bed. Hubby called after I laid down the boys. It seems his phone died on him and he forgot his charger. He had to go buy one. Of all the times for that to happen.

This morning he is ok. The bump has gone down a lot. Hubby comes home tonight. Thank goodness.

Kitchen Cleanup

We have been mourning the loss of the Cubs pitcher Greg Maddux to the Dodgers so I haven't been in the mood to post a lot. I am hoping to be inspired again.

Now the kitchen clean up. Yesterday morning I had to scrub down our kitchen and here is the reason why. Last Thursday we had evidence that a mouse had been roaming our kitchen. So we bought a regular mouse trap and set it. The next morning we caught it. The following night there was more evidence that there was more. So we set the traps and checked the next morning. The cheese was gone but the trap was set. Did it again the next night with the same results.

So I went to the store and bought a sticky trap and a clip trap which do not require bait. The next morning Hubby woke up and went downstairs to check on the traps. There were four baby mice in the sticky trap and one baby mouse in the garbage disposal running around. Hubby had to get the mouse out by using a container and a spatula. He said what he saw grossed him out. I had to take everything and scrub it down because of the evidence left behind.

We had killed the mother and so the babies had to fend for themselves and were desperate. I am saddened and replused and the same time.

Today no evidence of mice so I am happy about that. I am sure that when winter comes we will have to battle them again. I am totally grossed out.

***UPDATE***
I just got back from errands and turned on the oven to preheat and a mouse ran from under the oven to behind the trash can to under our cabinets. I freaking screamed in surprise and it freaked out Big Cubby. Little Cubby thought it was funny. It ran by again or at least I think it was the same one and I screamed again. I HATE MICE! If I wasn't allergic to cats I would get one in a heartbeat.

Today is my birthday

Today is my 34th birthday. I had a birthday weekend. Friday we went to eat at Chili's where I had a nice birthday beer. Saturday, I had cake and ice cream. I opened my presents from the boys. I got two nice shirts, Dane Cook Retaliation CD, Dane Cook Harmful With Swallowed CD, KT Turnstall-Eye to the Telescope CD. We wore Spongebob Squarepants birthday hats and eat off of Spongebob plates. Big Cubby picked them out.

Sunday, Big Cubby and I went to the movies and saw Cars.

Today is officially my birthday. Do I feel old? Not really. I may look it on the outside but I still feel like I am 24. Fine lines are creeping up on my face that is the only difference. I did get carded at Chili's which made my night.

So today I will celebrate by cleaning our kitchen(I have a story about that but it is too sad and kind of gross to talk about right now. I will post about that later), going to the dry cleaners, and maybe reading a book.

Have a good day everybody.

PS. If you haven't all ready go check out R. Martini and help him win his challenge.

Help R. Martini

I know I know I haven't posted in awhile believe me I have a lot of things in my head I need to blog about. But this post is about R. Martini over at Aimless Ranter. He has been challenged by Manic Mom to blog everyday for 7 days and get five comments each day.

So help a brother out and go read his blog!

Busy Bee

Look it is all ready Thursday. Where does the time go? Here is a recap of last weekend.

Saturday after Big Cubby got his haircut and I went the farmers market, we all boarded a train and headed for the zoo. We did the smart thing and got there early. There wasn't that big of a crowd there yet. We hadn't been since Big Cubby was a baby. It really is a great zoo. We had a lot of fun. Big Cubby has a camera so he was taking lots of pictures. Most ended up blurry but a few turned out really good. Little Cubby got in free and Big Cubby had a coupon to get in free from the library reading program. So we only had to pay for us.

We had lunch there and we ended up buying the boys each a souvenier. Plus each one got a wax animal from the machine.

We did a lot of walking and were down by noon. We headed back to the train but missed it so we had to wait about hour for the next one.

We got home and relaxed a bit. Little Cubby took a short nap and then we headed out again to look at sofas.

We ended up buying this one which was supposed to be delivered yesterday but it did not come in so it won't be here until next Thursday. Don't worry we got the stain protection on it. I think the end of next month we might buy a recliner.

I have been busy this week with the boys. Hubby's parents are coming tomorrow so I am busy cleaning and getting ready for them. They stay at Hubby's grandparents house. They are getting in tomorrow and coming over so they can go with us to look at the car show our town has every Friday night. Saturday and Sunday are up in there air. Maybe they will come over Saturday and watch the boys so Hubby and I can go see Clerks 2. We will see. The boys are excited they are coming.

That has been the dillyo! Everyone going to Blogher I hope you have an awesome time! I am jealous I wish I could go. Have a drink for me!

This made me cry a little

Saturday Hubby took Big Cubby to get his hair cut. I knew he was getting a buzz but was not prepared for it when the came back. I had to turn away so Big Cubby would not see me cry. Hubby said Big Cubby was not happy about it. After the cut the barber asked him if he could smile and Big Cubby said "not anymore". On the walk back, he asked Hubby if they could and get his hair back.

He won't look in the mirror at himself now. I got him to for a minute last night while brushing his teeth. I keep letting him know that he is very cute and handsome. I think he is starting to get use to it. We only did it because he gets so hot and sweaty from playing that we thought this would be cooler for him. His hair grows back fast so it should be back by the time school starts.

The week got by me

Man, I can't believe it is all ready Friday. This has been a bad week for me. Maybe that is why I avoided posting. Here is my week in review.

Saturday I went by myself to the movie theater around the corner of my house to see The Break Up. Don't let this movie deceive you thinking it is a comedy. There are a few funny parts but for the most part it is drama. Lots of yelling in this movie. I thought it was ok. You can really tell they reshot the ending. I give it a C. It was worth it for the popcorn. I have been craving movie popcorn. YUM!

Sunday it was too hot to go outside.

I thought my in-laws were coming this weekend so I started the cleaning process on the house. Then I find out they are coming next weekend.

I have had a heavy flow couple of days if you know what I mean. I hate that.

Yesterday I did errands with the boys. I hate taking the boys to the store with me but I really needed to go and could not wait the weekend. There was a lot of whining.

I have felt cranky, crampy, impatient, pissy, tired, sweaty, and did I say pissy.

This weekend we are going to try to attempt the zoo. Oh boy.

Big Cubby is getting is hair cut today or should I say buzzed. I will have pics of before and after. I am uneasy with this because I love his hair but it has been so hot and he gets overheated easy. His hair grows back very fast so he should be ok by school.

Little Cubby is going through the whining stage. It is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. My nerves are shot.

So, I am sure you guys are so happy I posted today.

Oh, some good news. I had faith that this would happen and my Hubby kept telling we would not get anything back. Yesterday a check from our old landlord came in the mail that contained our deposit. YOO HOO! Hubby could not believe it. He had given up on it. I told him that it would take awhile but I had a feeling we would get it. We are going to buy a couch and a chair or a couch and a loveseat for the living room. Right now we have a futon we sit on. I am excited!

That's all folks!

Monday cheer up

Nobody messes with baby!

21 and 22 months

Little Cubby I am way behind on my posts about you so here is your 21 and 22 month post. Yesterday you turned 22 months.

I can’t believe you are almost 2. You are growing leaps and bounds.

You love music and love to dance. The Laurie Berkner Band is one of your favorites. You love dancing to her song I’m Going to Catch You.

You are saying more words now like Nana and Papa, Charlie (nana and papa’s dog), I see, OK, what’s that, eat, train (which you get excited about) and a lot more words and sentences.

You are a mockingbird. You love to mock sounds and repeat words we say.

You love watching the trains. You might be developing an obsession to trains like your brother.

You are a daredevil. You have no fear. At the park, you go down slides backwards. You like to run with the big kids.

You pretty much eat anything we give you. You eat a lot more veggies then your brother.

You still you the pacifier but only at nap time and night time. You don’t use it during the day.

You like to sit down and flip through books. Your favorite book right now is Elmo Loves You. You make Daddy and I read it over and over. When it comes to the part about giving Elmo a kiss you kiss the page.

You have learned some bad habits from your cousin. You have started screaming in a high pitched sound when you get angry or if your brother is bothering you.

You have entered that stage of independence and you fight us on everything. You want to do it your way.

You are sleeping pretty well at night now. You have a special blankie you like to sleep on.

You smile at everyone which everyone makes a comment about. You are very friendly and not shy.

You like to play with your brothers toys much to his dislike.

You are such a joy in our lives. You make us laugh with your giggles and you make us love you with your hugs and kisses.

Can't get out of my head

I can not get this song out of my head since hearing it the other day. I even find my self singing or humming it.

"I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny." Yeah Sir-Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back.

Why?

trip pics

Here are a few pics from our trip.

The bouncey thingy I posted about. It is a carnival at my sisters.Little Cubby loved it.

Cousins.

This is the first time the boys have ever been in any pool.

That inflatable basketball hoop is also my sisters.

At Nana and Papa's. I have started him out young in the chore business.

week in review plus more

Now that the craziness of our trip and the holiday are over I can sit down and post something.

The trip was great. We had so much fun that the time flew by. We left on a Saturday morning and did not get there until late afternoon. Sunday we went to church with Hubby's parents, brother and sister-in-law. It was great to see people we hadn't seen in ages. We got married in this church. Monday, Hubby and I went out on a date. We ended up just driving around and talking then having lunch at a pizza place we loved in college. We walked the mall and noticed how a lot has changed. It was a good day. We got to talk without being interrupted.

Tuesday we went to my sister's house just over the border of Illinois into Kentucky. They just moved there in November. My mom was there also. The boys got to play with their Cousin D in her little pool and her inflatable bouncy toy. I will post pictures of it later. It was a ok visit. Some of you know the past with my mom so when we visit it is usually weird and strained. My mom hadn't seen the boys in a year.

Wednesday we left to come home. The drive there and back was a pain. The boys whined the whole time. I wished then we had a DVD player for the van.

Hubby was off the rest of the week and part of the next week. On the 4th of July we went to a parade that was just around the corner of our house. Big Cubby loved it. He got lots of candy. Little Cubby got tired half way through so Hubby took him home.

That night we went to see fireworks. This is the first time the boys have ever seen a fireworks show. They loved it. Their eyes just lit up when they started. It was a very long day. It took us 40 minutes to get out of the parking lot when it was over. The next day both boys were cranky.

I have been busy with trying to catch up around here. With Hubby off, I did not do a whole lot just relaxing. I have started a new online Bible study and have been trying to catch up on 4 chapters.

That is about it. I will try to post a few photos later.

I'm Back

We are back. Actually we came back late Wednesday afternoon and I have been busy unpacking and doing laundry. We had a great time. We got to see our family and relax. I will be trying to catch up on all of your blogs and will update later on our trip.

In the meantime check out my Hubby's photos. The first eight are from our trip. They were taken in Southern Illinios. He will have more in a few days.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ten-nine/

Road trip

Going to visit family and won't be getting on the computer for a few days. Check out two new posts today and I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Be back next week sometime!

Preschool

Well it is official we signed up Big Cubby for preschool. He will be in the 4 to 5 year old class. He will go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:30am to 11am and we might sign him up for an extended class that meets once a week from 11am to 1pm.

He is very excited about going. The program looks really great and he will be learning a lot but yet still being able to play. They get to go on field trips and everything.

I think this is going to be good for both of us. He needs time away from Mommy and I need a break from him. Yeah I still have the little one but he can play by himself very well.

So come September my first born is going to school. Yikes!

Bright Lights Big Carnival

As I am typing this there is a carnival going on behind my house. I can see the ride called Gravity Drop or something from my window. Yeah I hear the people scream everytime the thing drops. They have the music pumping. The music is all pop music that is hip right now.

I am a little disappointed and also showing my age but back in the day when the carnival came to town the music was Def Leppard or Whitesnake and the prizes you would win would be mirrors with Poison or Skid Row on them or roach clips. Yes, they gave these out as prizes and I thought they were to clip on your jeans. Hey, I was young.

Now the prizes are inflatable baseball bats with American flag print. Not kidding. I haven't checked out the whole thing yet it really got started today but the rides where a preview last night.

Tonight we are going to take Big Cubby over to ride the kiddie rides he is so excited.

The town is having a Heritage Festival where there are booths, rides, fireworks(also will be seen from the back of my house), food, music,(John I Wear My Sunglasses at Night Waite) and much more. I guess it is a big deal here and it runs through Sunday.

Funnel Cakes here I come!

Everything

A while back I was kind of going through something and I really did not know how to blog about it. I guess you can say I was a little depressed. I had an overwhelming sadness. I really could not put my finger on it. I tried to explain it to Hubby but I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way.

I have had sometime to think and reflect on it. I think it was a combination of things. The stress of the move catching up with me. I have been trying to come out of my prison shell that I have had for 4 1/2 years. I have really gotten to the point that I don't have confidence in myself that I can't even make a freaking phone call without panicking. I never use to be like this. I was afraid to drive in the city and finally took the chance and was able to drive to the near burbs to shop but I could not drive downtown. I can drive around where I live know and as one of my last posts I drove all the way to freaking Cicero. Part of my inside is still unsure.

Another thing is moving out the city really showing me that I am no longer young. I love the city but it is a young person's place. I guess I have been mourning my youth. I will be turning 34 in August and it hit me I am a Mom. I am an adult. I have never really thought of myself that way. Moving to the suburbs is the next step into buying a house and settling down. We have never owned a place before. I like to think of us as gypsies and that if we wanted to flee we could and have no responsibilites. But now Big Cubby is reaching school age and it is not fair on the kids to pick up and move all the time.

I had been dealing with all these emotions. My relationship with my husband hasn't been all that great. We aren't fighting or anything just kind of coexisting. It seems we never have time to talk just us that there is always an intrusion.

Do you find it hard sometimes to separate yourself between mother and wife? Do you find that you get tired of kids literally hanging on you all day that the last thing you want is for someone else touching you?

I have been really trying to work on this. Maybe this is too much info for this blog but this is what I have been going through the past few weeks. I have been trying to make sense of it. Trying to make time to talk with my husband in the evening after the boys go to bed. Trying to overcome my fears. Trying to figure out where I belong.

Sorry to be so heavy.

I won

I discovered Brenda Scott Royce on Manic Mom's blog. She had won the monthly contest at the time. So I went to check out her site and signed up for the monthly contest. I won the May contest. I just received an autographed book called Monkey Love and a $20 Target gift card. You should really check her out. I will be reading the book very soon.

I don't have a lot of luck so this is cool I actually one this. I love books.

Train adventure

Where to begin? I have been busy lately so I haven’t been able to update as much. I have a few things to write about so here it goes.

Last Thursday the Metra trains shut down due to a spilled bag of white acid(not the rec drug) but the type you use for making soap or candles something like that. Here is how the story goes. Thursday morning I took the boys on walk to the post office and we walked along the train station so the boys could see the trains that went by. I had noticed a bag on the middle track that looked like it had fallen off a train. This was around 9:30am. Around 3:30 pm we went by again and it was still there. We went to the library and when we came back by on the way home around 4:00pm there was a fire truck and several police officers standing along the train station. There was a train sitting there. I thought it maybe something happened on the train. There were a lot of people waiting.

We were going to stop off to the side to watch the trains go by when a gentleman was walking by and said that it would be about 30 minutes before trains go by because of a package on the tracks. I laughed and said they are just now doing something with that it has been there all day. We head home. I call Hubby to tell him he might have a delay on the train. Just then I here a helicopter outside, so I step out and see three helicopters from the news stations. I run in and turn on the news. They are reporting that the Hazmat dept. has been called out because they think the substance on the tracks is some sort of chemical. They said they are only letting trains come up to my street not the station and letting people off. I call Hubby back and tell him it is a bigger deal.

He gets on a train around 6pm and by now the trains are only going as far as a train station that is 4 miles from my house. I tell Hubby I will pick him up. I get a call back from him telling me that they have stopped at the Cicero stop and told people to get off. He says there are no cabs and he is thinking about walking back to the city.

Cicero is right next to the city on the west side. It is not a very safe burb. It has just been announced the second suburb that has the most gangs in it. I freak out and tell Hubby he is not walking to the city while it is getting dark. I tell him I am on my way. It is a straight shot to the train station he is at and it is right across the street from a police station.

I load up the kids and head out. The traffic is horrible. It is rush hour plus people going to pick people stranded by the trains. As I am driving down Ogden, there are tons of people on cell phones walking or standing and waiting for a ride. It takes me 15 mins to go 5 miles. Hubby is 20 miles away. Traffic finally breaks a little and I can go a little bit faster. I miss then street I needed to turn on and I turn on the next street hoping to turn around and I see down it the train tracks so I head that way and there is the station and Hubby waiting.

Right as I am turning in Little Cubby throws up. He did the same thing he did last Saturday. So, I pull in and tell Hubby. We pull out Little Cubby take off his clothes, wipe him down and wipe is seat down. We put him back in the seat with just his diaper and head home. We did not get home until 9pm. The trains started up again by then. 12,000 people were stranded because of this.

I was pretty proud of myself for driving to Cicero. I did not do too much driving in the city so this was a big deal. I can drive in most burbs fine.

One year old

Today is my 1st Blog Anniversary. I can not believe it has been a year since I started this journey. I want to thank all of my blog readers. I have come to think of you as my friends! You guys have been kind of enough to stick with me through good and bad times. You have given great advice and loving support. I don't know what I would have done without you.

This blog was started as a journal to help me record feelings and thoughts. I wanted to feel that I was alone and that other people had the same problems and ideas that I did. Being a parent has been rough and sometimes very frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing a good job. Blogging has let me peek into other peoples worlds and see that everybody is not perfect and that we all have issues.

I finally feel normal and that I am doing the best I can to help my sons to grow up and be fine men.

Thank you for reading and commenting. Here's to another year of trials and triumphs!

It never fails

Over the weekend, we headed over to the mall to check this store out. It is awesome everything in the store was $7.95. We bought Hubby a pair of pants and we each got a t-shirt with SIU on it. That isn't the story though.

I decided to pack a small bag for the diapers and wipes. I had been carrying around this big bag full of everything from change of clothes to umbrellas. I just threw in a couple of diapers, wipes, sippy cup and changing mat.

We were getting close to the mall when Big Cubby starts freaking out. Little Cubby decides to throw up. Lately he was been sticking his fingers down his throat gagging himself. I am not sure if it was that or his stomach was upset. The puke was just a little and I head back the back when he throws up again. We are talking the Exorcist. It was chocolate milk. Man, the smell of sour milk took over the van. He got it on his seat, jacket, shirt underneath and pants. It was a cool day out as well.

Hubby spots a Wal-Mart so we head over there. Big Cubby is about to throw up himself because he is really sensitive to stuff like that. So we are yelling at him to look out the window and just breathe. We pull in the parking lot and Hubby with Big Cubby head inside. I meanwhile take off all of Little Cubby's clothes trying not to get it on me which is hard because the poor kid is upset and just wants to be held by his mommy.

Little Cubby is dancing around the back of the van with just a diaper and socks on having a grand old time. I am trying to clean up the mess with baby wipes. Hubby comes back with a shirt, jeans, apple juice, sippy cup and more wipes. We get it all cleaned up and head to the mall.

We buy a jacket for him at Sears and then we head to lunch. That is right after all that the kid is hungry and surprisingly so are we. Big Cubby was still affected by it and would eat much. Little Cubby was fine the rest of the day so who knows what happened.

This happened to us when Big Cubby was little as well. We were out and about when he threw up. Both times I had decided to limit my bag contents. It never fails. So now I lug a big bag around with a full outfits for each boy because you never know.

A little light reading

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in awhile. I have been doing a lot thinking and a lot of reading. On the thinking part, I have been going through some weird emotions lately and I haven’t been able to put them to words. I can’t even explain it to Hubby I just don’t know what it is. I will try to write more on that later.

Now for the reading part. Since the May 21st, I have been doing a lot of reading. Before I was busy moving, unpacking and just trying to settle in. So I got busy and have been reading in my spare time, mostly at night.

Here are the books I have read so far.

The Da Vinci Code-Dan Brown-It was ok. I really didn’t see what the big fuss was about. It was predictable and I knew right away who the Teacher was.

Coroner’s Journal: Stalking Death in Louisiana-Louis Cataldie-This was a good book. I am fascinated with forensics but I know that I could never face what these people face everyday.

Baby Proof-Emily Giffin- I won this book from Manic Mom and it actually hits bookstores on June 13th so it was cool to get it before everybody else. I was a pretty good book. I had strong feelings about the character in that I did not like her. Maybe because I did not chose her path. I think a good book provides you with reacting to the characters good or bad. I think this one will spark some debate.

Adventures of a Celebrity Personal Assistant Chore Whore-Heather H. Howard- This was a fun book! I am a celeb gossip whore and I loved the story line. It was delicious.

The next two books were recommended by Stephen King in the last Entertainment Weekly.
Dispatch-Bentley Little-I only read half of this book and could not finish it. I was bored. Hubby read it and told me the end. Not satisfying.
The Store-Bentley Little-Did finish this one I did not like it either. The guy rips off Stephen King no wonder King likes him. It reminded me of Stephen King’s earlier stuff but not as good.

The Breakup Club-Melissa Senate-I love this author. See Jane Date, Whose Wedding is it Anyway, and The Solomon Sisters Wise Up are her other books. This one did not disappoint.

Tales From the Crib-Risa Green-This is a sequel to Notes From the Underbelly. Tales is about the aftermath of giving birth. It really nails it.

So I have been busy trying to stimulate my mind. I will write more later on what I have been going through lately.

Bye for now!

Hubby is going to cry when he sees this

David Lee Roth was on Leno last night. He has put out a CD with Van Halen songs sung bluegrass style. Here is the video. This is really sad.Is David pissed so now he is going to mock Van Halen?

Summer Fun

Little Cubby playing in the sand

Big Cubby acting goofy

Weekend

It started out nice. Hubby came home Wednesday night and it was great to see him. We went to bed thinking about all the wonderful things we were going to do over the next five days. Thursday morning we woke up and Hubby and Big Cubby were sick. We are talking about fever, coughing and achy muscles. So, that day the boys rested and I ran some quick errands.

Friday rolls around and the boys are not any better. Fever and Big Cubby throws up a popsicle. So, that day I go check out a few stores in my new town.

Saturday, still no progress. Hubby has given Big Cubby to much OJ and he throws it up. In the kitchen sink. In my dish water.

Sunday morning there is hope. The boys seem to be feeling better. We head up to the park just to get some air. We don't stay long and Big Cubby has to be carried back. He was too tired from all the laying around he has been doing for three days. We cook out and that is the extent of the day.

Monday, boys are much better. We go to the park several times and we have a good day.

Hubby returned to work on Tuesday and back to the normal grind.

Today I talked to Hubby at work and he said he wasn't feeling good. Crap! How can we get this sickness out of our house?

Luckily, Little Cubby hasn't gotten it. Knock on wood.

I had planned the zoo but now that will have to wait.

So that is my recap of the holiday weekend. Sounds fun right?

Wait what is that? Do I feel some tingling in my throat? I must go take some Emergen-C quickly.

Everyone keep there fingers crossed that I don't get sick. I just can't.