Hubby and I have been discussing about having a third baby. I have gone back and forth on this. Hubby has decided that two is enough and made the comment he wanted to get rid of the baby clothes and other baby items. I started crying at this. I told him I needed a little more time before we get rid of the baby stuff.
I tried to explain that it was kind of like a mourning process. That I will won't have any more babies. He really did not understand what I am going through.
Have any of you gone through this? I am getting choked up just writing this. I don't know if this is part of being a female or do men go through it also. Even though I am 34, I don't want to close the door on a third baby.
I have pros and cons and I wasn't the happiest pregnant person but I still not ready to move on.
It could be that women go through menopause which ends their fertility and men can reproduce until they die that women mourn this.
Tell me what you think. I want to know that this is normal and to prove to Hubby I am not crazy.
7 comments:
You are not crazy. I, too, would like a third child, but my husband's putting the brakes on for a while. I don't know if there will ever be a #3, but I'd like to think so. If not, then I am mourning with you.
we all go thru it, you are not alone!!!!! :)
I wanted a third and after 4 long years finally got it. During the delivery they tied my tubes and even though I was holding an infant, totally done, with being pregnant. definitive that we wanted no more, I still mourned the end of it. It took me weeks to get over the end of my child bearing years despite having 3. Trust me, you are more than normal.
you are so normal, sister. don't worry and DO NOT get rid of anything that you're not easily willing to part with! you will regret it if it's not from the heart. A guy can NEVER understand what it is to carry life inside and to give birth, breastfeed and continue nurturing. who knows what happens down the road, and it is nice to leave the door open.
I think whenever a woman closes the door on her fertility it's bound to cause some sadness. If I wanted another baby and my husband didn't, I'd be devastated. It was hard enough the couple of years when he kept saying he wasn't ready for one YET.
Oh, and as for the male fertility thing, I just heard on NPR today that they've established a link between children with autism and fathers over 40. (There's no correlation to the mother's age apparently.) FYI.
I also want a third child, having always loved the idea of a large family. Why? It's just something that feels intuitively feels right. Thankfully, my hubs is on the same page. The question as of late is more concerning when...
One girlfriend I know who went through a similar experience ended up seeing a councilor who helped them work out a contract of sorts before they adopted their second child, while another girlfriend is still grappling with the issue.
I think it is understandable to mourn. A decision is being made and there are repercussions, even if they aren’t physical.
You are not crazy. I knew when I was blessed with one that there would never be a second. I mourn for that.
Post a Comment