My husband just did the biggest no no. I got Little Cubby's dinner ready and brought it in to my husband so I could get Big Cubby's dinner ready. As I brought Little Cubby's chair to him he says "Is this your way of telling I am feeding Little Cubby?" I said yes I need to get Big Cubby his food. He says"You could have at least ask me to feed him"
Excuse? I have to ask you to feed your son? Nobody askes me if I want to do the laundry, clean, go grocery shopping, feed, dress, bath the kids.
This really pissed me off. Am I wrong here?
6 comments:
AMEN! You have every right to be pissed. Lord have mercy, if I have to fold one more load of laundry only to hear "did you wash my ____?" I am going to vomit!
HELL NO, you're not wrong. I ask my husband, "will you watch the kids so I can.....?" What the "F" They are his kids too, he not a baby sitter he's their FATHER. Well, hell yeah he's watching them if I'm not there and there is NO asking about it.
See, Mom's ROCK!!
Oh yeah.
I'd be pissed too.
In fact... I've been pissed about this very thing before.
I really don't get it.
What are these boys thinking?
Aren't you called "partners" for a reason?!
I hope you can find a way to explain to him why you are angry that makes sense to him. If he can say this to you, then he obviously just doesn't understand - and yes, you have a right to be angry. I don't think his reaction (or yours) is atypical, but I'm also a big fan of 'teach them' so they don't keep doing it. Not saying it'll work, just suggesting you present it to him as something you're trying to figure out. Ask him why he assumes you will do all those other things and doesn't ask you? And ask him if he feels like you guys need to write out your responsibilities and make sure they're divided fairly. My hubby and I did that, and when he saw on paper how much more I did, he actually did take on some more stuff around the house. Good luck!
Although as an exhausted never stopping, have to get everything done on my own type wife/mother, I would agree that husbands need to just do (fill in the blanks) because they helped create whatever, children, mess...whatever.
But it has been my experience that if I ask, and not really make it a yes or no thing, he THINKS he had the option, the task gets completed and I am no longer angry because he should have done said task without being asked.
I used to think my husband was just a jerk and I had to do everything...well that all changed when I finally had a blowout and then called mom to vent.
She told me 1) to get over it 2) If I don't ask and I just do eerything, then it is just as much my fault as it is his....GGGRRRRR she is supposed to be on my side.
So I started. Now he gives baths whenever he gets home in time, and he serves the girl's their dinner...and every once in awhile he will also have my plate fixed before I sit down tot he table. In the beginning you have to ask for them to do things a lot, but after awhile they learn that the graditude they get for just doing things is a lot better than sitting in front of the tv oblivious!
Hope this helps a little...and it doesn't fix it completely in most cases, but every little bit helps!
I'm with mommygoth and charity, too. You'd think that they'd just see things and do them without needing to be asked since it's their house, kids, etc, too, but it doesn't always work that way. And if they don't know they sin in the eyes of the mama, then you need to show them the error of their ways. (Though that said, I once asked my ex to take the baby when he got home because I just.wanted.a.damn.shower. He responded with a flat-out no, he was too tired. What the--? HE was too tired?!) So good luck with that!
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