Too many emotions in such a short period

I had a lot of emotions today. I was happy, upset, pissed, scared, panicked, relived, pissed again, sad, hurt and happy.

The day started out really great. We loaded up the boys in the van and headed to Toys R Us to look at possible birthday gifts for Big Cubby’s birthday next Sunday. We got there and found a few things so I bought them while Cub Daddy distracted the Big Cubby. Big Cubby got a balloon and birthday crown while we were there. We then headed over to Office Max to get Cub Daddy a planner. We ate lunch at Wendy’s and all was good. This made me happy.

We headed over to Barnes and Noble at a local open-air mall. We browsed books and then Cub Daddy took the boys because Little Cubby was getting cranky. He tells me he is going out and I tell him I would meet him by the play area. I am looking around and found a couple of books to get.

I had a coupon for an extra 15% off for being a member which you get 10% off all ready. I could not pass that up. Well, the coupon was in the diaper bag which Cub Daddy had. Cub Daddy had forgotten his cell phone so I could not call him to ask him to come back.

So I go upstairs and out the door we came in. No family. Go over to the play area. No family. Go back to the book store. No family. Start to get upset. Go back to the play area again. No family. Go to the van. No family. Start to get pissed. Go back to store. No family. Go to food court. No family. Start to get scared. Go back to store sit down outside and start panicking. Go back to van. No family. Go back to bookstore one more time. No family.

On the verge of tears, I decided to head back to the van and sit hoping that they would eventually come back there. I am so pissed. I take the elevator up at the parking garage and when the door opens I see the family in the van. I start crying asking where the hell have you been.

Cub Daddy says we have been sitting outside in front of the store. What outside in front of the store? He said yeah been waiting for you for 30 minutes. I just started bawling.

Why the hell would he sit in front of the store? We came in the side door. We did not park in front of the store. What went through his mind when he made that decision? One of the times when I was looking through the store I glanced out the front but thought he would not be there why would he. I tell him this is why he bought cell phones so we can find each other.

Never went back to buy the books.

What pissed me off more was all the way to the grocery store Cub Daddy keeps saying how he thought I ran away or I was just sitting at a café drinking a cold pop. This made me sad. He didn’t think that maybe something bad happened to me.

How could he even think I would ever do that? I love my family and would never think about running away. This really hurt me. He said he was joking but I think he was pissed because he had to handle both boys and they can be a handful. He said Big Cubby kept saying No don’t get me and people were looking at him like he was kidnapping him.

Welcome to my world.

We finish up at the grocery store and head home.

Cub Daddy said he was sorry for saying that I would be the type of person to run away from my family.

Now I am happy.