Oh what a night

Oh what a night. But first let me go back and give you the information of our living accommodations. We live in a two bedroom apartment. We live in the middle apartment. The person upstairs likes to come and go at all hours and we can hear their every step they take. Most the time it sounds like stomping.

Big Cubby has is own room. When Little Cubby was born we did not want him waking up Big Cubby and I am breastfeeding so he slept in our room. Well as the months went on every time my husband or I went to bed we would wake up Little Cubby. So we started sleeping in the living room in hopes that it would help Little Cubby sleep through the night. My husband sleeps on the floor with a bunch of blankets and I sleep on the couch. We have been doing this since December. Well it helps sort of, for awhile he was getting up a lot then it slowed down to just a couple of times a night. The neighbor upstairs comes home around 10pm and it always wakes up Little Cubby. The routine would go he would wake up around 10pm then sleep till 3am and then sleep until 7 or 8 am.

This weekend Little Cubby was cranky. Friday night I did not sleep well. Saturday night Little Cubby goes down at his bedtime 8pm. He wakes up at 9pm wants to nurse. He wakes up at 9:30pm he wants to nurse. He wakes up at 10pm he wants to nurse. OK, now I am totally pissed off and about reading to blow my top. Earlier in the day we went on an 8 mile walk and so I was exhausted. Cub Daddy says something like aren’t you going to do something about him he is crying. I then ripped Cub Daddy’s head off punched him in the stomach and told him to do something about that. OK, I did not rip his head off or punch him in the stomach but I thought about it. I instead said what the fuck do you want me to do with the little fucker, I have been in there three times giving him the boob. He falls asleep I lay him down and then in a few minutes he is up again. Cub Daddy had nothing to say. That is what I thought. So finally Little Cubby fell asleep at 11pm and stayed asleep until 3am. He then woke again at 7am.

Sunday night was the same deal with Little Cubby waking three times then finally falling asleep. Around 1am I feel someone poking me and it is Big Cubby. He has to go potty. (Side note this is a big deal because this is the first time he as come to us in the middle of the night to go potty. Until I bought him Spiderman sheets last week, he was peeing the bed every night for about a week. He doesn’t want to pee on his Spiderman sheets.) So anyway I take him to go potty then he tells me he wants to sleep on the couch with me. We cuddle together then he won’t lay still. He tosses and turns driving me crazy so I tell him lay on the floor next to Daddy. He tells me there is a bug on the floor. I look and don’t see anything. I then lead him back to his room. He points and says there is a spider on the wall. I don’t have my glasses on but I don’t see a spider. He then points to the floor and says it is there. I turn on the light to show him there were no spiders. Just then the refrigerator made a popping noise and he freaked out by saying what is that noise. I then tell him to grab is pillow and he can sleep on the floor with Daddy. He finally fell asleep and so did I until about 3am when Little Cubby woke up. I went in nursed him then laid him back down. He woke again at 7am.

I am exhausted today and coffee is not doing anything this morning. I don’t know what to do with Little Cubby. It is hard to do the crying out method to get him to sleep because we hear the neighbors I am sure they hear us and we don’t want them thinking we are abusing the baby because he is crying. Little Cubby will stand in his crib and scream and cry for hours if we let him. How do you get this kid to sleep and not rely on the boob? He uses a pacifier at night but he prefers my boob for comfort instead. I can tell that is the only reason he is using it is for comfort not eating. I call him little vampire. I did not have this trouble with Big Cubby. He nursed textbook perfect. He had weaned himself by his first birthday. Little Cubby seems like he wants to nurse until he is 18. I hate breastfeeding now. I feel like it is no longer a bonding time for us. I know I am not producing enough milk. He won’t take formula no matter what I do. I have been giving him yogurt to supplement like the doctor said. I know the breastfeeding Nazis won’t like this but I think breastfeeding sucks. I know it is good for the baby and that is the only thing that keeps me going.

I want my boobs back. I want the baby to sleep through the night. I want my bed back. OK I probably won’t get my bed back until next May. We plan on moving someplace else then.

OK I think I have bitched long enough. Good news Cubs swept the Marlins this weekend.